I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
