I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.