I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
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College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....