Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..

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(937): View more from Ohio

Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.

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(425): View more from Washington

Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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(515): View more from Iowa

RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just trying to show you I care.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.

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