i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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