Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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