Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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