I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
