You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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