I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
