you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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