I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
