Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
