roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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