mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
