Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
