is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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