would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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