This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
