420 ftw
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
