New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
