We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this just has baby written all over it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
