when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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