i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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