it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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