I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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