Duck Duck Cougar?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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