all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
