something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Those nachos came to me in a dream
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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