Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She needs sedatives and a leash
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
