you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
