Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
