i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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