So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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