The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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