I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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