what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
