its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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