I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
