I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
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Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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