The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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