What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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