watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize