Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
