Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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