We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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