the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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