just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
