why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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