guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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