girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
