i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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