the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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