no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
