I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
