I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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