Whod you bang
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
