but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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