how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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